I fully intended to continue our discussion on Defining and Approaching Success, and I absolutely will next time, but the following post has elbowed its way to the fore, and although this topic is distressing to discuss, it is imperative that we do so.
First and foremost, I wish to acknowledge all survivors of sexual harassment and violence. You deserve to be supported and believed. You are not at fault.
TRIGGER WARNING: This post mentions sexual predation of children and adults, as well as cover ups and protecting predators. Please read to the end of this essay for ideas on how to recenter.
We Had No Idea
A couple weeks ago a new website, We Had No Idea, was published. The site details cases of abuse and predation in the classical music industry with a focus on highlighting the perpetrators and their actions with photographs, related media, and the institutions with whom they are associated (see also this map). I admire and appreciate the makers of the site. It is an effective tool in protecting people from predators.
The name of the site - “We Had No Idea” - does double duty. While many people truly have no idea of the rampant abuses found in the power dynamics of various systems, many, many certainly do, regardless of performative pearl clutching.
Of course, in no way is the issue limited to the realms of classical music. Case in point: the so-called “Epstein Files” (rape and trafficking of children and women) which currently clog our news feeds. While we now know for a fact that the sitting (felon) President of the United States is an adjudicated rapist - found so by a jury of his peers - every new day reveals more documentation connecting POTUS to the monstrosity of decades-long criminal exploitation of children and women right here in the USofA.
Why Is This New Site Important?
“…violence against women is global and enduring, a constant rather than an event.”
Among the many reasons, perhaps the most salient is to stop abuse before it starts, and to forewarn and protect possible targets. Secondly, consequences and accountability have a deterrent effect, whether or not justice is ever fully achieved. Finally, even the hope of bringing any amount of healing to the injured must be pursued relentlessly, and with a little persistence, some measure of justice may be found.
But Isn’t This Just More Cancel Culture?
This is a familiar argument: the societal and professional harm caused by exposing a sexual predator is too great a punishment. The argument tends to leave out the harm to those injured, or implies their suffering is a secondary consideration. If we forgive and forget and keep silent, it’s as if the egregious behavior either didn’t happen at all, or wasn’t that bad. Do better next time and all is forgiven.
“…law enforcement and the legal system have often been more interested in protecting perpetrators and society has often normalized and even celebrated violence against women.”
- Rebecca Solnit
Though not all sexual violence is against girls and women, most of it is. Throughout history societies have colluded to protect attackers by blaming the attacked. Every girl and woman is taught and expected to alter her own behavior in order to protect herself from a predator’s conduct.
The fear of being canceled compels individuals to think more carefully before they act or speak. Meanwhile corporations and institutions increasingly recognize that failing to adopt policies against discrimination and misconduct may lead to negative public opinion and damaged reputation.
Whether it is fear of backlash or a genuine cultural shift toward ethical considerations taking precedence over ignorance and disregard for others, we must promote a society with higher ethical expectations in order to shape a more just world. We cannot support and expand a culture unless philosophy is modeled in behavior. Stated values are worth nothing if they are not evidenced by action. We must lead by influence, not by authority.
The Curious Propensity to Support Convicted Sex Offenders
“When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”
- Donald J. Trump, President of the United States
This shocking reality appears in all fields, including our niche world of classical music. One example: a few years ago a famous singer was held accountable in a U.S. court of law, and admitted - on the record - to his heinous assault. And yet, many colleagues and fans refused to believe he should be held accountable. Apparently the trauma he caused to living, breathing, humans was of less concern than the singer’s ‘artistic contributions’.
What about Compassion?
Compassion does not equate to enabling and condoning. Compassion must first be applied to anyone in harm's way. Of equal importance is self-compassion, which means not compromising one’s own standards.
Power Dynamic
Any person in a position of authority, especially anyone who works 1:1, is obligated to assure individuals and their families they are safe from harm. This is simply understanding one’s position as a professor, teacher, coach, conductor, director, administrator, etc.
The prevalence of false allegations is between 2% and 10%. SOURCE
Only 2% of rapists are convicted and imprisoned. SOURCE
Nearly 99% of perpetrators are male. SOURCE
57% of perpetrators are white. SOURCE
#Me Too Is Here To Stay
#MeToo sparked widespread conversations and increased understanding on issues of sexual harassment, consent, and power dynamics. As more perpetrators are held accountable, more people feel empowered to report harassment and assault. Legal reforms, such as the banning of non-disclosure agreements (NDAs) covering sexual harassment in some states, is also a direct result of increased awareness. With focus on systemic issues, #MeToo continues to address the root causes of sexual violence, including power imbalances and systemic inequalities. Furthermore, organizations like Time's Up Legal Defense Fund have provided support to survivors seeking justice.
Checking In
Alhough this topic is obviously critically important to discuss, I am frankly exhausted and a bit soul-sick from articulating my thoughts, so I imagine some Well Canto readers may be, too. Please tune in with yourself - what are you thinking and feeling? Where are emotions sitting in your body? What does your most compassionate self need to say to you right now?
I am safe. I am in a safe place. I am in the present. The past holds no power over me anymore.
I have also just now spent some time breathing deliberately and doing the “3x3” exercise:
Hear 3 things in the immediate environment. Really listen. Just observe.
See 3 things. One near, one mid, one far. Notice the colors, shapes, lines. Observe only.
Touch 3 things. Notice texture, temperature, weight. Be curious. Observe.
The Universal Truth
Separateness is an illusion. Everything is connected, literally and poetically. This is why most of us feel empathy, and even pain when we become aware of suffering. We know instinctively that any power over dynamic is harmful and unsustainable. It is not an individual’s job to fix another individual bent on causing harm. It is society’s job to protect and advocate for the vulnerable. Please share the website We Had No Idea widely. Sexual offenders have enjoyed the protection of silence for far too long. There are no accomplishments, no accolades or achievements that give license to hurt other people. Time’s up.
Find resources for support and information on sexual violence here: RAINN
Link to Rebecca Solnit’s excellent opinion piece:
The Problem is Far Bigger than Jeffrey Epstein
May you live in ease and kindness, with a free heart.
Well Canto is a registered trademark.
Singing lessons with Barbara: www.WAVS.info
Well Coaching with Barbara: www.BarbaraShirvisWellness.com
Hugs to you for writing so eloquently about such a difficult subject.
Thanks again, Barbara, for sharing your thoughts and wisdom on a subject, though not specifically music, still 110% relevant to our trepidatious field.