Clarify Values, Define Strengths
The Well Canto Newsletter Ponder This Volume 17
Hello, Well Canto Creatives!
What is most important to you?
Another tool to promote our well-being and create a sense of authenticity is to clarify our Values and define our Strengths. By doing so we are more likely to design a life that we find meaningful, autonomous, and productive.
"The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms" - Socrates
What are Values and Strengths? Which is which? The short answer is that our Strengths tend to sit on a foundation of our Values. As you read through this article, don’t worry too much about categorization right now. As always, our goal here is building self-awareness for the purpose of general well-being. But here are some working definitions:
Our Values are a central part of who we are and who we wish to become. When we actively clarify our Values through self-awareness we develop an inner guide on which we can rely for our choices and actions.
Our Strengths are qualities that help us feel energized and engaged, and often come naturally. Defining and emphasizing our Strengths increases confidence and self-reliance. This in turn helps us best utilize our resources.
Imagine embarking on an adventure with a specific destination. Our Values are like our compass; we can always check in to find true north and stay on track. Our Strengths are all the tools in our backpack that assist and support us on our journey.
How can a Creative like you use this information?
One of my great joys of being a working singer was meeting a revolving door of eclectic people, and experiencing a huge variety of situations and new environments. Varied experiences help us grow as artists and people. But life isn’t all Rosy and Jake, as my mom used to say. We are often confronted with circumstances and behaviors we’d rather avoid. Knowing one’s personal Values and Strengths is like having a wise counselor in your back pocket.
The Value of Values
Scenario: “Bob” has a big rehearsal tomorrow and plans to use this evening to get really solid with his preparation. A friend contacts him with a tempting offer to go out tonight instead. Luckily, Bob reads the Well Canto Newsletter and recently clarified the Values of self-discipline, respect, and reliability. He visualizes walking into rehearsal the next day exhausted and unprepared, and decides to stick with his original plan.
But what if Bob also clarified the Values of spontaneity, joy, and connection? He still doesn’t want to disappoint himself and colleagues for the rehearsal. So, considering all his values, he makes a plan to do some prep before he goes out, come home in time to sleep well and get up early for another hour of study before showing up fully prepared for his rehearsal. He has successfully negotiated one of the many curveballs life offers by intentionally deciding who he is and what is most important to him.
One way to visualize this idea of how our Values form our inner guide - or core - is the old “raw or boiled egg test”. Essentially, a boiled egg has a firm center, but a raw egg is floppy inside. Our Values center us.
Watch: (1:07) How to Tell if an Egg is Hard Boiled or Raw - 3 Different Ways
Below are two lists - one of Values, one of Strengths. Glance through each one and notice which words resonate most with you. Of course these are only partial lists. Add any words that you feel are missing.
From Strength to Strength
Why define our Strengths? When we focus more often on our challenges rather than strengths, we start to feel defeated and lose energy. Luckily, the reverse is also true, and is much more satisfying. By understanding our Strengths and consistently leaning into them, we sense our own competence. This feels empowering and perhaps even exciting. It’s more fun to do things we're good at, after all.
But does this mean we avoid what feels challenging? Most of us don’t have that luxury, or have tried that strategy only to find we’ve created more problems down the line. Sometimes we avoid challenges because we want to avoid a feeling of failing. But by knowing and living our Strengths, we can cultivate the confidence to remove any unnecessary emotions like shame or guilt when facing difficulties.
Let’s say “Barbara” knows she has a Strength of creativity, but when it comes to focus and time-management, she absolutely sucks. Instead of spending a lot of time berating herself with shame and guilt and avoidance, she says, “I know I am creative. Maybe I can find a creative solution to get my paperwork done in a timely manner.” A few clicks online leads her to something called the Pomodoro Technique, which she tries, and it works like a charm. She knows she is unlikely to ever fall in love with shuffling papers around, but her creativity led her to work the problem successfully. She gets the job done without wasting emotional energy, realizes it wasn’t that bad, and feels energized by the feeling of organization and the look of a clear desk (ask me how I know).
How clear are you about your top Values and Strengths? Sometimes these are qualities we already practice in our lives, sometimes we see and admire them in others. Follow these steps to clarify further:
Choose several words from the lists above that feel important to you. Feel free to add any you don’t see. Keep your list on the short side for this exercise, maybe 3-5.
Write them down.
Now read the list slowly while you define each word for yourself.
As you go about your week, notice when one of your Values and Strengths shows up. It may be in the form of a feeling, or an action by you or someone else.
At the end of the week, assess which Values and Strengths feel the most important to you. Did you find yourself consulting your Values and Strengths as needed? Did you add or subtract from your list?
Getting clear about what matters most and what we do well results in more effective decision making, communication, and emotion regulation. Cheers to being well!
Voice Lessons with Barbara www.WAVS.info
Well Coaching with Barbara www.BarbaraShirvisWellness.com
May you live in ease and kindness, with a free heart.