About Those Promises to Yourself…

Jan 28, 2026

persons hand with white manicure — Photo by Womanizer Toys on Unsplash

The final week of January is decidedly less shiny and optimistic than its festive beginning. For this particular year of 2026, that just might be the understatement of the century.

I acknowledge the world on fire reality that has us filled with disbelief and dread. So many thoughtful writers and responsible thinkers are sounding the alarm and sharing powerful action steps to inspire us to cling to community and what is - very simply - right. We must all read and heed and find our collective center while understanding that this is the brink, but that good is always more powerful than evil - even while we tremble in our uncertainty.

At the risk of sounding trifling, I want to make a case for continued, meaningful self-care. Preserving our peace is always a worthy endeavor, but right now it is critical. The New Year is a typical time to burnish our resolve to turn over a new leaf, start a new habit, set a new goal, or somehow work toward a new and improved life. And often, we stumble.

New Year’s Resolution Stats

A 4,000 year-old tradition, we humans make resolutions to start the New Year. However, in ancient Babylonia where the tradition has its roots, the new year began after the spring equinox, not during the dead of winter. Personally, I think there’s something to be said for timing. Here are a few modern statistics to consider:

About 23% of people abandon their New Year’s Resolutions after just one week.
Less than 10% of people successfully keep their resolutions throughout the entire year.
Around 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February.

Did you know that the second Friday of January is called, “Quitter’s Day”? The term was coined after a fitness app analysed their data. Often people lose motivation when they don’t see immediate results, or after setting too-ambitious goals.

What to Do?

Maybe you’re crushing your 2026 resolutions, and bravo, if that’s the case. But if not, a little tweak here or there could make the difference between giving up and simply revising and updating. Do-overs are 100% allowed.

Reframing is a powerful tool when we find ourselves mired in the demoralizing force of negative thought patterns, which sometimes feel like ambivalence or lack of motivation.

Reframing: changing our emotional and conceptual perspective of a thought, situation, or event, in order to create a more positive and constructive outlook.

One way to reframe a resolution is to think of it as a promise we make to ourselves. A resolution is a declaration of intent, while a promise feels like a personal commitment. When we commit to ourselves we engage our internal values - like integrity, discipline, and trust. And, we do not want to be the one to disappoint our very selves.

Some More Gentle Suggestions

Get clear on your WHY - “Meaningful self-care” can take many forms. What does it mean to you, specifically? Create categories like physical, mental, and spiritual. What self-care actions in each category will you do consistently to move you toward your goals?

Break Goals into Smaller Parts - Someone recently lamented to me that he was failing at his goal to “Get up at 7:00, stretch and eat a healthy breakfast, then go to the gym” because he slept past 7:00 most days. His goal is actually several goals strung together. Since the very first part wasn’t met, he perceives a total failure for that day.

Building one habit at a time is more realistic, has a higher chance of success, and is WAY more self-compassionate. We must make sure we experience success in each step; maybe “go to the gym everyday” becomes “move my body for 15 minutes on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday this week”, separate from the gym or when you wake up. This is how we build the confidence to add more small goals a little at a time. Baby steps are enormously effective toward long-term goals.

Eliminate Barriers - Once you have clearly decided on your goal(s), make concrete, step-by-step plans to work toward them. This reduces the friction of decision-making that derails us. Set out exercise gear, stock the fridge with nutritious food, make an appointment to meditate. Effectively, you have already made the decisions. Now follow the plan without re-negotiating every step.

Create Accountability - Use online trackers for food and exercise. Journal through stress and difficult emotions. Hire a health and wellness coach or therapist. Find a good friend who has similar goals, and meet regularly. Make lists and cross off completed items. Incorporate positive, healthy rewards when milestones are met.

Give yourself a break - It’s possible that winter is a time for rest, resetting, and preparing for a burst of energy when the season shifts to spring. Remember that change is not linear, and restarts are part of the process. Small efforts add up, and ‘carrots’ are more effective than ‘sticks’.